I was watching Step Up 2, The Streets the other day (great movie) and realised that my life isn't a movie. It doesn't really have a plot. It has a beginning though and I'm in the middle but I'm just not sure what the end is. It's not glamorous however much I'd like it to be, everything doesn't just fall into place like it does in the movies, I'm not a picture perfect movie star with flawless skin and a superb body (and I certainly can not dance like they can but that's neither here nor there).
I have everyday problems, I have things from my past that I haven't worked through yet, I have things in the present which are stressing me out and I'm sure my life in the future isn't going to be an Oscar Winning Performance.
BUT... I took a hot bath with bubbles and salts and candles last night. I lay there contemplating all of this in amongst sniffles and tears. And I realised that no one has a life like the movies. I'm not alone in all of this.
God is there for me. And I must learn more to depend on Him more. To hand over my problems to Him and to know that He has control. It's not an easy thing to surrender to God. To hand over your life and trust that it's being looked after but I need to do it.
I also am truly blessed by the family I have. My parents are wonderful. The love they share for each other is a love that I aspire to in my own relationship. They also love me beyond what words can say. They are the people I want to become. My brothers are my rocks, my best friends. Without them I would be sinking in sand and drowning. I know each and everyone of them would drop everything to be at my side if I needed them. They make me laugh, they cheer me up, they are each different in their own special ways and they are all such wonderful company. My sister in laws are the same and are fast becoming very close friends as are the beautiful girls that my brothers are dating.
My best friend Lisa. She knows what to say and when to say it. When to snap me out of something, when to be brutely honest with me and when to sugar coat things for me. Lis has been an amazing friend over the last 14 years. She is amazing and I'm looking forward to rocking in a chair next to her as we grow old together and our friendship just grows stronger and stronger.
And James. I can not express how much he means to me. In fact, this part of my life is the part of my life that is kind of like a movie... at the end, I do get the boy! On the surface he is handsome, sweet, loving, kind, smart, funny, and the list goes on but it's the things that people don't see that I cherish the most. The whispered "I love you" when he thinks I'm sleeping, leaving the cucumber on the side of his plate because he knows it's my favourite salad ingredient, watching my tv shows and pretending to like them (Although I'm pretty sure he actually likes them), his drive and determination to finish what he started, his love for his family, his love for my family, his encouragement to me that I can be the best I can be, his excitement at the little things in life. This list could also go on and on but I'm a little bit selfish and would like to keep him to myself. James is everything to me. I look forward to one day being married to him, having his children, growing old with him and having many many adventures to tell our grandkids.
So whilst my life may not seem like a movie, it sure has a story of it's own. It's not glamorous, it's not ideal sometimes and some days I just feel like staying under the covers and crying all day but I'm sure we've each been through those days on occasion.
I'm trying to turn over that leaf. Trying to move on and look forward to what lies ahead. And I know with God, James, my family and Lisa and everyone else around me, I can do it.
Thanks for reading.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
In over my head but excited for the challenge
My diary hasn't seen ink in a long time. Perhaps it's time to get it out again to write in it what I can't write here for others to view. Just a thought.
Things that others can view...
Opposites Attract is in full swing. I'm really excited about this project and believe that it's going to reignite my passion and drive for the entertainment industry. We have 70% of the cast and I am casting for the remaining roles on Tuesday. Steve will be producing and I'm privileged to work with such a talented person. I have a talented team and for my directorial debut, I'm nervous but know I have a lot of support for me with the adventure that this will be.
James has been super supportive. I couldn't ask for more. I know he is just as excited about it as I am. (Well, maybe not that much) but I know that he will support me with whatever crazy ideas that I have. It's a wonderful feeling to have someone that cares that much. :)
As for work... I have an interview tomorrow for the job that I'm currently sitting in. I am being interviewed by a panel of 3 people that I currently work with. Some would think that this is easier to walk into an interview with people you know, but I don't. I think it is 10 times harder. They already know how you work, your work ethic and whether or not you do the job well so what does that leave you to say with your answers? I think I stand a good chance because I know that I am good at my job. I just have to prove it in half an hour by giving the right answers and using the STAR method. I do not want to drop back to an APS3 position so I hope that I can stay at this level for the remainder of my contract (or of course move further up). I don't like taking backwards steps!
James and I booked our trip to the States! I'm so super excited about this. We go to LA, San Fran, Vegas and New York and on the way home have a luxury stop over at a resort in Fiji for a few days. James can snorkel whilst I mingle with the locals and work on my tan. I'm looking forward to seeing friends that I haven't seen in a while in LA, soaking up the atmosphere of San Fran, playing a few tourney's at the casino's in Vegas and singing on broadway in New York. Going to be a spectacular trip. I just hope I can get enough funds before then to fund it all! LOL.
In other news... I came 55th out of 524 runners for that tourney the other week. Top 53 pay out. Naturally I was extremely disappointed. I know that I can play poker and I know that I am somewhat good at it. One day I'll win a nice decent tourney. I'm trying to satellite into the FTP500. I think that will be a worthwhile tournament to play. I enjoy poker and one day will make my first major win and I'm hoping the FTP500 will be it!
I have this need to prove myself. I sometimes feel that in some way I don't have my own identity. I'm always, someone's sister or someone's friend or that girl I once knew. I am yet to make my mark on the world. I don't know what it will be in or when it will happen but mark my words... it will happen. Someone once told me to not take no for an answer. And I intend on sticking to that and working towards my goals.
Til next time.
Things that others can view...
Opposites Attract is in full swing. I'm really excited about this project and believe that it's going to reignite my passion and drive for the entertainment industry. We have 70% of the cast and I am casting for the remaining roles on Tuesday. Steve will be producing and I'm privileged to work with such a talented person. I have a talented team and for my directorial debut, I'm nervous but know I have a lot of support for me with the adventure that this will be.
James has been super supportive. I couldn't ask for more. I know he is just as excited about it as I am. (Well, maybe not that much) but I know that he will support me with whatever crazy ideas that I have. It's a wonderful feeling to have someone that cares that much. :)
As for work... I have an interview tomorrow for the job that I'm currently sitting in. I am being interviewed by a panel of 3 people that I currently work with. Some would think that this is easier to walk into an interview with people you know, but I don't. I think it is 10 times harder. They already know how you work, your work ethic and whether or not you do the job well so what does that leave you to say with your answers? I think I stand a good chance because I know that I am good at my job. I just have to prove it in half an hour by giving the right answers and using the STAR method. I do not want to drop back to an APS3 position so I hope that I can stay at this level for the remainder of my contract (or of course move further up). I don't like taking backwards steps!
James and I booked our trip to the States! I'm so super excited about this. We go to LA, San Fran, Vegas and New York and on the way home have a luxury stop over at a resort in Fiji for a few days. James can snorkel whilst I mingle with the locals and work on my tan. I'm looking forward to seeing friends that I haven't seen in a while in LA, soaking up the atmosphere of San Fran, playing a few tourney's at the casino's in Vegas and singing on broadway in New York. Going to be a spectacular trip. I just hope I can get enough funds before then to fund it all! LOL.
In other news... I came 55th out of 524 runners for that tourney the other week. Top 53 pay out. Naturally I was extremely disappointed. I know that I can play poker and I know that I am somewhat good at it. One day I'll win a nice decent tourney. I'm trying to satellite into the FTP500. I think that will be a worthwhile tournament to play. I enjoy poker and one day will make my first major win and I'm hoping the FTP500 will be it!
I have this need to prove myself. I sometimes feel that in some way I don't have my own identity. I'm always, someone's sister or someone's friend or that girl I once knew. I am yet to make my mark on the world. I don't know what it will be in or when it will happen but mark my words... it will happen. Someone once told me to not take no for an answer. And I intend on sticking to that and working towards my goals.
Til next time.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Day 2 here we come!
Well it's been over a month since my last blog but not a lot has really happened actually. Well, that's not entirely true.
Brendon's 21st was awesome! Had such a blast. Enjoyed watching Nan knock out Brendon in the poker and get so excited about it. Laughed so hard listening to Brendon try to order 100 chicken nuggets, 10 burgers and 11 large fries at McDonald's over the phone and yelling down the phone saying THIS IS NOT A PRANK CALL. Brendon enjoyed the gifts that James and I splurged on. We got him a personalised deck of cards x 2, (ask him to show you if you see him) Ticket to Universal Studios, DVD of Pixar shorts, and a USA Lonely Planet. Little bit too much but you can't put a price on the amount of love I have for my brothers so thankfully I have James who kept me from going too crazy.
Also have been to see Bear Grylls talk. What a crazy man. Can not believe the things he puts into his mouth!
Had an audition at Woy Woy Little Theatre that I didn't get. From the lack of talent there and those that got the parts it's clear again to me that it's not what you know but who knows you or who you know. Was a waste of 5 hours of my life.
But on a brighter note, I have joined Gilchrist Management as an actor on their books and I am looking forward to starting some projects with them this year. Nadine has been more than helpful already!
James, Brendon, Laraine and I went to see One Man Lord of the Rings. Was amazing. What a truely inspiring actor. He did a brilliant, funny, energetic performance. Well done Charles Ross.
Steve and I are going to be putting on a play very soon! Meeting up with him this weekend to discuss. Very very ultra excited about that! Stay tuned for more on that next blog...
Enjoyed a relaxing weekend with my best friends on the weekend in Maitland. Was a good weekend to just unwind.
For now... the biggest thing this week is that I entered the Opening Event tournament at Star City for the ANZPT on Monday. After struggling to get the cash to play (Thanks to Laraine for coming to my rescue!) I rushed over to the casino and registered. I was flustered and so settled down with a yummy dinner at Fat Noodle with Donna. Although I only had half of my own action, I was stoked just to be able to have the chance to play.
I asked Brendon for one last piece of advice and that advice stuck in my head the whole night and worked wonders. :) Within the first 20 minutes I took down my first casualty. I had Tens and he had Aces. I flopped a full house. Naturally I check to him. He raises, I reraise, he shoves all in. I call. Bye bye. :) Then I went on a cooler unfortunately. My trip Aces fell to a full house, my pair of aces top kicker, fell to a runner runner quads. but I regathered my focus on the break and went back to it. At about 11.30pm, I was moved tables. I only had 13k left and had to make a move... then my heater came. Tens again, Jacks, Kings, Run good much? LOL. By 1.30am I had 40k and had moved tables again. I got dealt AQ on the button. Action folds to me so I raise. Big blind asks me how much I have left (he has about 80k) I slowly count it out for him, then said, was that enough time for you think? He said yes, raised me to all in. I thought about it and put him on low pockets, like maybe 6s or 7s. I open folded to him in the end and said, I've come this far and don't want to go through a race right before we end the night to go to Day 2. He shows me pocket 3s. I'm sure an ace would have come but didn't want to take that risk. Not long after we were moved tables again... I get Kings. WOOHOO! I went all in, hoping for the best. I was called with a guy who had AQ. But no ace was to be seen as 2 kings hit the board to give me quads! Oh yeah! The night ended 20 minutes later and I head to day 2 with 85k.
I'm nervous but excited at the same time. I'm confident I can do this. Just have to stay focused and think positive.
Will let you all know the results after I finish!
xoxoxo
Brendon's 21st was awesome! Had such a blast. Enjoyed watching Nan knock out Brendon in the poker and get so excited about it. Laughed so hard listening to Brendon try to order 100 chicken nuggets, 10 burgers and 11 large fries at McDonald's over the phone and yelling down the phone saying THIS IS NOT A PRANK CALL. Brendon enjoyed the gifts that James and I splurged on. We got him a personalised deck of cards x 2, (ask him to show you if you see him) Ticket to Universal Studios, DVD of Pixar shorts, and a USA Lonely Planet. Little bit too much but you can't put a price on the amount of love I have for my brothers so thankfully I have James who kept me from going too crazy.
Also have been to see Bear Grylls talk. What a crazy man. Can not believe the things he puts into his mouth!
Had an audition at Woy Woy Little Theatre that I didn't get. From the lack of talent there and those that got the parts it's clear again to me that it's not what you know but who knows you or who you know. Was a waste of 5 hours of my life.
But on a brighter note, I have joined Gilchrist Management as an actor on their books and I am looking forward to starting some projects with them this year. Nadine has been more than helpful already!
James, Brendon, Laraine and I went to see One Man Lord of the Rings. Was amazing. What a truely inspiring actor. He did a brilliant, funny, energetic performance. Well done Charles Ross.
Steve and I are going to be putting on a play very soon! Meeting up with him this weekend to discuss. Very very ultra excited about that! Stay tuned for more on that next blog...
Enjoyed a relaxing weekend with my best friends on the weekend in Maitland. Was a good weekend to just unwind.
For now... the biggest thing this week is that I entered the Opening Event tournament at Star City for the ANZPT on Monday. After struggling to get the cash to play (Thanks to Laraine for coming to my rescue!) I rushed over to the casino and registered. I was flustered and so settled down with a yummy dinner at Fat Noodle with Donna. Although I only had half of my own action, I was stoked just to be able to have the chance to play.
I asked Brendon for one last piece of advice and that advice stuck in my head the whole night and worked wonders. :) Within the first 20 minutes I took down my first casualty. I had Tens and he had Aces. I flopped a full house. Naturally I check to him. He raises, I reraise, he shoves all in. I call. Bye bye. :) Then I went on a cooler unfortunately. My trip Aces fell to a full house, my pair of aces top kicker, fell to a runner runner quads. but I regathered my focus on the break and went back to it. At about 11.30pm, I was moved tables. I only had 13k left and had to make a move... then my heater came. Tens again, Jacks, Kings, Run good much? LOL. By 1.30am I had 40k and had moved tables again. I got dealt AQ on the button. Action folds to me so I raise. Big blind asks me how much I have left (he has about 80k) I slowly count it out for him, then said, was that enough time for you think? He said yes, raised me to all in. I thought about it and put him on low pockets, like maybe 6s or 7s. I open folded to him in the end and said, I've come this far and don't want to go through a race right before we end the night to go to Day 2. He shows me pocket 3s. I'm sure an ace would have come but didn't want to take that risk. Not long after we were moved tables again... I get Kings. WOOHOO! I went all in, hoping for the best. I was called with a guy who had AQ. But no ace was to be seen as 2 kings hit the board to give me quads! Oh yeah! The night ended 20 minutes later and I head to day 2 with 85k.
I'm nervous but excited at the same time. I'm confident I can do this. Just have to stay focused and think positive.
Will let you all know the results after I finish!
xoxoxo
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Mondayitis
I struggled a lot to get out of bed this morning... I was comfortable, I was exhausted and just needed another 2 hours sleep. But I dragged myself out of bed and straight into the shower. Woke myself up and dragged myself to work. But not before looking in the mirror and seeing something I really didn't like. This time last year I had lost 8 kgs. I was happy with my body and felt confident. I have managed to put that 8kgs back on and I look and feel terrible. So... following this epiphany I have decided to go back on the diet that I was on last year. No processed foods. I'm heading to Zumba tonight to get back into that and hope to get time to visit the gym another two times per week as well as Zumba. So trying to not put myself in way of temptation. I know I can do this. I did it last year so I can do it again. I just need self control.
On a few other notes... Tropfest was fun and awesome to hang out with the WAGS and bro. Thanks for coming James, Amber, Laraine and Davannah!! I had fun!
No news on the Pokernews Hostess Hunt. They have cast the EPT Hostess, congratulations to Laura Cornelius! I am going to remain positive and keep my hopes up because this is a position that I really want. Looking forward to hopefully having the chance to meet Lynn Gilmartin and Matthew Parvis for a chat if that happens! :) In the meantime keep voting for me at www.pokernews.com/pokernews-hostess-hunt THANKYOU!
Got talking to a man on the train this morning. I offered him my seat as he is blind but he politely refused saying that he couldn't take a seat from a lady. Very sweet but I was totally keen to give him my seat but in the end we both stood and chatted the whole way to Redfern. He has been blind for 10 years but has learnt to move on with life and even cracked a few jokes, "Nice to meet you Alison, Hope to 'see' you soon." His name is David and I hope I do run into him again. He was inspiring. My chance encounter this morning with him encouraged me to have faith and believe that all things are possible. It certainly made the struggle to get out of bed a little easier.
I'm at work now and not motivated to do work. I feel my time could be better used elsewhere but I will press on and complete the day.
Brendon's 21st is in 3 weeks. Looking forward to that! Should be an amazing night of fun! Here is a fun photo of us from last year. Brendon is so awesome and has encouraged me and been there for me a lot, particularly in the last year! Looking forward to more adventures with him!
Signing out (and potentially doing some kind of work at work...) A.
On a few other notes... Tropfest was fun and awesome to hang out with the WAGS and bro. Thanks for coming James, Amber, Laraine and Davannah!! I had fun!
No news on the Pokernews Hostess Hunt. They have cast the EPT Hostess, congratulations to Laura Cornelius! I am going to remain positive and keep my hopes up because this is a position that I really want. Looking forward to hopefully having the chance to meet Lynn Gilmartin and Matthew Parvis for a chat if that happens! :) In the meantime keep voting for me at www.pokernews.com/pokernews-hostess-hunt THANKYOU!
Got talking to a man on the train this morning. I offered him my seat as he is blind but he politely refused saying that he couldn't take a seat from a lady. Very sweet but I was totally keen to give him my seat but in the end we both stood and chatted the whole way to Redfern. He has been blind for 10 years but has learnt to move on with life and even cracked a few jokes, "Nice to meet you Alison, Hope to 'see' you soon." His name is David and I hope I do run into him again. He was inspiring. My chance encounter this morning with him encouraged me to have faith and believe that all things are possible. It certainly made the struggle to get out of bed a little easier.
I'm at work now and not motivated to do work. I feel my time could be better used elsewhere but I will press on and complete the day.
Signing out (and potentially doing some kind of work at work...) A.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Settling down and in...
Well, I'm out of Haberfield and into little Asia of Sydney... Campsie. Thanks to the wonderful help of James and Laraine I have moved all of my things over and am starting to unpack now. What a huge job. But thankfully I was able to find a place to settle in to for a short term period now anyways.
Now... to cull. I have so much stuff that I really don't need. Uni notes from 10 years ago, (can't believe it's been that long!) letters I used to get from my best friend when I was 12!!, just general crap that I really don't need to keep. Gotta get the sentimental side out of me for a fortnight so I can cut back on stuff so the next move isn't as painful!
But have also enjoyed some moments of the last 2 weeks. Daniel and Amber's wedding was perfect in every way. They are such a gorgeous couple.
Lisa and Mark's engagement party was a lot of fun. Bridesmaid again and looking forward to it. Lisa is so organised! Love that girl.
Got a promotion at work! Woohoo!! Now just waiting to hear back about the Pokernews job but I am not confident about it. I really want the job so hoping that I do get it but there are other videos on there with girls that could also get the job. Fingers crossed!!
Better get back to work. Enjoy these wedding pics...
Now... to cull. I have so much stuff that I really don't need. Uni notes from 10 years ago, (can't believe it's been that long!) letters I used to get from my best friend when I was 12!!, just general crap that I really don't need to keep. Gotta get the sentimental side out of me for a fortnight so I can cut back on stuff so the next move isn't as painful!
But have also enjoyed some moments of the last 2 weeks. Daniel and Amber's wedding was perfect in every way. They are such a gorgeous couple.
Lisa and Mark's engagement party was a lot of fun. Bridesmaid again and looking forward to it. Lisa is so organised! Love that girl.
Got a promotion at work! Woohoo!! Now just waiting to hear back about the Pokernews job but I am not confident about it. I really want the job so hoping that I do get it but there are other videos on there with girls that could also get the job. Fingers crossed!!
Better get back to work. Enjoy these wedding pics...
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wedding of the Year!
Currently lying on a couch in an apartment in Star City. Enjoying the quietness. The bride has gone to sleep and I'm about to do the same. I have mixed feelings. Excited that Daniel and Amber are getting married tomorrow!! Nervous for Them both though as it's a big day and somewhat also jealous. Lol. One day for me. And hopefully it will be before Josh says "I do!!"
I'm in love though. I have a man that treats me like a queen. Who would sacrifice the world for me and I feel the same for him. :)
Tomorrow is going to be a gorgeous day. The sun will shine, the bride and groom will look amazing and I will gain another beautiful sister in law. I truly am blessed.
So off to sleep I go for my beauty sleep. Looking this good doesn't always come naturally!! Lol
Til next time.
I'm in love though. I have a man that treats me like a queen. Who would sacrifice the world for me and I feel the same for him. :)
Tomorrow is going to be a gorgeous day. The sun will shine, the bride and groom will look amazing and I will gain another beautiful sister in law. I truly am blessed.
So off to sleep I go for my beauty sleep. Looking this good doesn't always come naturally!! Lol
Til next time.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Sheep
Hello all, well everyone else was doing it so I thought I'd be a sheep and have a go at it too and start a blog. :)
Currently I'm at work and clearly not working very hard. Thinking it's actually time to go out for some lunch and get some of this sun!
So my brother Daniel gets married next week to the gorgeous Amber. I'm a bridesmaid and I can tell you it's been a fun experience. Planning what is set to be the best Hen's night ever for her (she has no idea what is in store for her!) Then I get the honour of walking down the aisle. Let's hope I don't cry like I did at Dave and Sav's wedding. Was so hard to hold back my tears as I walked down the aisle. But it's set to be the wedding of the year!
Followed by Lisa and Mark's wedding of the year for 2012!
In other news, I've just applied for the PokerNews.com Hostess position. I'd love this opportunity so if you haven't voted yet, please head over to http://www.pokernews.com/pokernews-hostess-hunt/video/22.htm to vote for me!
Tonight is more work at the Seymour Centre. Red Shoes is on which is considered the jewel in the crown for the Sydney Festival and it is very interesting indeed. Physical Theatre at it's best.
Well, I suppose I should head back to work (or rather out for a bite to eat)
Stay tuned for more from me!
Currently I'm at work and clearly not working very hard. Thinking it's actually time to go out for some lunch and get some of this sun!
So my brother Daniel gets married next week to the gorgeous Amber. I'm a bridesmaid and I can tell you it's been a fun experience. Planning what is set to be the best Hen's night ever for her (she has no idea what is in store for her!) Then I get the honour of walking down the aisle. Let's hope I don't cry like I did at Dave and Sav's wedding. Was so hard to hold back my tears as I walked down the aisle. But it's set to be the wedding of the year!
Followed by Lisa and Mark's wedding of the year for 2012!
In other news, I've just applied for the PokerNews.com Hostess position. I'd love this opportunity so if you haven't voted yet, please head over to http://www.pokernews.com/pokernews-hostess-hunt/video/22.htm to vote for me!
Tonight is more work at the Seymour Centre. Red Shoes is on which is considered the jewel in the crown for the Sydney Festival and it is very interesting indeed. Physical Theatre at it's best.
Well, I suppose I should head back to work (or rather out for a bite to eat)
Stay tuned for more from me!
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